It’s about that time again, when the Foxes take fictional people who have no business being together and making them kiss in text. Last year, the Foxes exchanged names of their favorite characters to be written into a romantic fanfic; since this was done in the style of Secret Pretend-Man-of-Lies gift exchanges, we dubbed it Covert Cupid (the results of which can be heard in Episode 31). This year, we had the honor of being in a room with a bunch of our readers and asked our convention audience at Arisia to throw a name or two in a (borrowed, dapper top) hat. After recovering from the ensuing swarm of hyper-friendly participants, we saw that our (borrowed) hat was overflowing. We will, of course, reveal the names that we drew in Episode 80 of Foxes in the Hen House; but meanwhile, here is the full list of (mostly) fictional names (with occasional place/series names–probably inspired by submission ideas we considered aloud) to show you the potential for absolute mayhem that we faced in writing our fanfics.

Thank you to all the readers at our live episode recording who gave us these submissions, including (but by no means limited to) Sami, Arin, Mike, Michael, Keegan, and Kevin from the Flopcast! You are all monsters.


The suitors:

A single Oompa Loompa (Willy Wonka/Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)
Amelie (Amelie, movie)
April O’Neil (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Barack Obama (44th President of the United States)
Batgirl (DC Comics)
Beast Boy (TV Teen Titans (not Teen Titans GO))
Bilbo Baggins (The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings)
Black Widow (Marvel)
Boss Hogg (Dukes of Hazzard)
Calamity Jane (Deadwood)
Chewbacca (Star Wars)
Daenerys Targaryen (Game of Thrones/ASOIAF)
Dr. Drakken (Kim Possible)
Faith (Buffy/Angel)
Fluke Man (X-Files, “The Hose”)
G’Kar (Babylon 5)
Garrus Vakarian (Mass Effect)
Groot (Guardians of the Galaxy)
Gru (Despicable Me)
Heat Miser (A Year without a Santa Claus)
Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)
Holtzmann (Ghostbusters)
Imperator Furiosa (Mad Max: Fury Road)
Jareth the Goblin King (Labyrinth)
Kamala Khan, aka Ms. Marvel (Marvel)
Kylo Ren (Star Wars)
Leela (Futurama)
Leela (Doctor Who)
Liv Moore (iZombie)
Londo Mollari (Babylon 5)
Lucy (X-Files, “The Hose”)
Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter)
Mary Poppins
Mayor John Hancock (Fallout 4)
Mighty Morphin Green Ranger (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers)
Miles Vorkosigan (Vorkosigan Saga)
Monolith (2001: A Space Odyssey)
Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Niall Horan (One Direction)
Nurse Chapel (Star Trek TOS)
Poe Dameron (Star Wars: the Force Awakens)
Princess Bubblegum (Adventure Time)
Scully (X-Files)
Sleeping Beauty
Spike (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
Spock (Star Trek)
Stan Shunpike (Harry Potter)
The Biblical Story of Noah
Vlad Plasmius (Danny Phantom)
Xena, Warrior Princess
XJ-9, aka”Jenny Wakeman” (My Life as a Teenage Robot)